yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
