in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
