i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
