I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
