why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
