It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
