God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
