If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
