so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
