You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
