so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
