haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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