she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
