ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize
