What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
nutella sex= disaster
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
