last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
