Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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