I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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