Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
