I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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