operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
