Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
