So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
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