dude i'm inner monologue high
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize