Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
