Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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