its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
