the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
