nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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