That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
