So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
