this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
