you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
