party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
