"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
