Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
