i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
