apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i will never coherently bang her
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
So much Jack, so little girl.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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