sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
