singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
