I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
