he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I want to be your penis for a week.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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