I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I had to cum in my sink.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
