Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
