I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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