I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
