so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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