Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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