It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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