You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
