To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
