So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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