Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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