oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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