Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
