I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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