i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
