He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
