Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I have demons in me.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
