The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
he was CRYING into my vagina
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
