we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
