so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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