I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize