I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
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