Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize