do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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