$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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